Most of our problems arise from having or not having control over things.
But what exactly is control? It is the power and influence to make things happen the way we want them to or to shape the behavior of others - and most people spend their lives trying to make things happen the way they want, which strips them of the simple instances of happiness. And on the bigger level, it makes their lives miserable - and it all sits on the need to control.
Do we think having control over things can change our situation? Or let’s put it in better words, having control over things that are not ours to take, is never going to make your life easier, better, happier, or whatever change you think it will bring.
To truly understand something, we need to break it down to its simplest form.
I want you to understand the concept of control in alignment with the purpose of our lives - and both don’t go well together.
Your Breath is Mercy of Allahﷻ
Speaking of power, control, and influence, let's bring our attention to something we take for granted: our breath.
Breathing is the most essential thing for us to stay alive. It may sound simple, but it holds profound significance. Your heart has been beating in perfection even before you were born, and imagine if it skips one beat! Control doesn’t exist for a believer other than controlling one’s nafs(soul/self/desires), and actions.
Every breath that we take is not only a huge and significant blessing of Allahﷻ upon us but also an Amanah(trust and responsibility).
We have to return to the same Lord who has granted us this life, and we have to be answerable for each moment we have spent on this life - where we are spending our time and energy - and do you think, all the things we consume our mind, time, and energy in are benefiting us - most of them are not.
Technically, the most control we should have would be on our breath - but we don’t - and that is the beauty of life.
It is He, Who gave you life, and then will cause you to die, and will again give you life. Verily, man is indeed Kafurun. [Surah Al-Hajj:66]
When we try to control things, rather than living our lives in accordance with divine decree, we deny Submission, we deny the decree of Allahﷻ, which means denying the power and authority of Allahﷻ.
Starting with the simplest yet the most uncontrollable thing, your breath, dive deeper into liberating yourself through gratitude, patience, and repentance.
Meditation vs. Mindful Living!
What do they teach you when they tell you to meditate?
I want you to answer this, for me, and for yourself!
Take control of your breath!
Why?
Why do we need to take control of our breath? There is no logical reason for it. Yes, you can argue if you want to, but there is no need to take control of your breathing.
The concept of meditation revolves mostly around controlling your breath. My mind hurts when I meditate, it may be an unpopular opinion, but trying to control your breath while meditating isn’t doing anything other than diverting your focus from your problems, and on top of that causing you pain to do something that isn't possible.
The bigger problem is your problem, which goes unresolved with just trying to control your breath - let it flow, and focus on awareness.
Our Prophet Muhammadﷺ used to meditate - and we should too, but in a way that is helpful, and beneficial.
Quran encourages us to be mindful, reflect, and ponder on the signs in the vast universe, the Quran itself, and also the life of our Prophet Muhammadﷺ.
Surely, in the creation of the heavens and the earth, and in the alternation of night and day, there are signs for the people of wisdom.[3:190]
Look at the beauty of the Quran, the word of Allahﷻ - reflection, and mindfulness come with wisdom. SubhanAllah.
It’s about changing the narrative to how and upon what existence has been created - submission to Allahﷻ; in our hearts and through our actions - and that is when the problems start solving, and every aligns.
Just knowing that our lives are in the control of the God who is most loving and wise, what do we have to worry about?
He is the Wise, the All-Aware." [Quran 6:18]
Allah’s Wisdom vs. Human Wisdom
To let go and submit to Allahﷻ, it is important to understand Allah’sﷻ wisdom in comparison to Human wisdom.
Human wisdom is dependent on Allah’sﷻ wisdom. The source of wisdom is Allahﷻ, and only something independent of anything and everything else for existence and sustenance can be the source - the rest needs that independent source, Allah.
Human wisdom does not even have half of Allah’sﷻ wisdom. Even this capability of making sense of the words you are just reading is the mercy of Allahﷻ, or else no school or education can teach you if Allahﷻ does not will.
The first step to any realization is gratitude. He blesses wisdom to whom he desires.
He grants wisdom to whoever He wills. And whoever is granted wisdom is certainly blessed with a great privilege. But none will be mindful ˹of this˺ except people of reason.[2:269]
He made way for you to be here, He blessed you with a sound mind, resources, and desire to be here today.
Isn't this the biggest blessing one could have, right? Or else what could have saved me, guided me to walk on the path He allows only His loved ones to walk.
What Allahﷻ says about the wisdom of humans in the Quran.
You see the mountains and think them firmly fixed, but they shall pass away as the clouds pass away. (Such is) the handiwork of God, who carries out all things with utmost proficiency. [Quran 27:88]
And yet, we think we are the wisest, and there is nothing before and after us - that is the exact opposite of wisdom; stubbornness, and unwillingness to open up, look at things from all perspectives, and realize that we can lack, we do lack so much.
Human wisdom is not to start questioning Allahﷻ himself, but to understand how Allah’sﷻ wisdom works, and try to live our lives as and in accordance with Allah'sﷻ decree - this is something that really, actually, literally liberates you of all your worries.
Wisdom is not to start creating new things, but to understand the simplest of the thing - which many of us fail to do so. If you sit here and start contemplating your breathing, it will take you, your whole life to be grateful to Allahﷻ for how He(the most exalted) gives us life every single day.
Wisdom is to start with the understanding that it’s a blessing of Allahﷻ to have a mind that can contemplate, it’s our free will, given by Allahﷻ, to make choices that benefit us in all ways; mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Wisdom is not to ace every situation by any means, right or wrong, but to ace your conduct in every situation, good or bad.
and your mind just stops when you rise a little bit more, and be grateful to Allahﷻ for giving you another day to be alive, to use your mind, heart, body, and soul to know your Lord more, connect, and repent to Him.
Because once the same breath has been taken away from us, the doors to gratitude, repentance, and everything close - what remains is just the judgment.
It was narrated from Safwan bin ‘Assal that the Messengerﷺ of Allahﷻ said:
Towards the west (i.e., the place of the setting of the sun) there is an open door, seventy years wide. That door will remain open for repentance until the sun rises from this direction. When it rises from this direction, faith will not benefit any soul that did not believe before or earn anything good through its faith.
We do not have control over time but do have control over how we spend it. Live it like there is no tomorrow - spend it learning your religion, your beautiful, merciful, kind, and magnificent Lord Allahﷻ. I so wish my last breath would be in the moments I am learning about Allahﷻ, or ideally, if my Lord wills, in sujood, closet to Him(cute emotional teary heart eyes emoji).
Our worries that emerge out of our desire to control consumes us all our lives, and it is scary - for we could have used that time to pray, to repent, to know our beautiful, magnificent God, Allahﷻ, and live the moments in peace and calm. You know worrying about life, things, and people seems like a waste of time when you start learning about your Lord.
The sweetness of prayer and the pleasure of reading the Quran brings you to a significant realization that spending your time on things that are not in your control is just a waste.
Every second you are spending is the part of the plan Allahﷻ has perfectly curated for you, for me.
SubhanAllah, the peace my heart feels just thinking that I am living the moment my Lord, Allahﷻ has written Himself is beyond words can explain.
SubhanAllah! We cannot see things the way Allahﷻ sees things, and still, we do not leave it to Allahﷻ even knowing that He can better take of things.
So let go!
What is meant for you, will reach you even if it is beneath two mountains. And what is not meant for you will not reach you even if it’s between your two lips. [IMAM AL-GHAZALI]
Aren’t you tired?
Aren’t you tired of the burden? A burden that isn’t yours in the first place. The burden of people’s behavior. The burden of something not going the way you wanted it to go. The burden of this and the burden of that!
If you rely on Allahﷻ as He should be relied on, He would provide for you as He provides for birds. They go out hungry in the morning and come back full in the evening.
It’s not that our duas are not accepted, it’s not that miracles are not happening for us - it’s that we fail to rely on Allahﷻ the way He deserves.
We say, we trust Allahﷻ, and yet our hearts, and actions do not align with our tongue - and that’s where we not only deny what we say but also fail to see the mercy and blessing of Allahﷻ.
Blessings are not only the things that we want, blessings are the things that we are given even without asking; the food, home, comfortable beds, ability to see, sense of touch and taste - everything thing is a blessing.
The Question Is?
Then why don’t you let go?
What stops you from liberating yourself of all the things that are not necessary?
Amidst keeping up with the mess, why do you let go of the blessings and the happiness that you look for all your life go unacknowledged? Isn't it ungratefulness in itself?
I want you to imagine how your life would have been if you for once left the table where you were not served. Serving means anything that diverts you from the purpose of your life - submission to Allahﷻ - letting go, and living.
Worldly attachments, detach us from Allahﷻ
Continuously trying to control things diverts us from the true purpose of our life, which is to live; live in submission - submission to Allahﷻ. The more we are attached to worldly things the more hard it becomes for us to attach to our source, the source of everything, Allah.
Detachment is the first step to attachment in Submission to Allahﷻ means mindful living, letting go of control, and taking a deep breath of security that your Lord is taking care of things.
Submission is to understand that everything you have, and every situation you go through or are going through is from Allahﷻ, and Allahﷻ chooses the best for us.
Mindful living is to be conscious of Allah'ﷻ, knowing that;
Allahﷻ does not require of any soul more than what it can afford. [2:286]
Here is the security you want in your life;
They planned, but Allah also planned. And Allah is the best of planners. [8:30]
SubhanAllah! You trust only the one you love, even if things seem impossible - let’s develop that connection with Allahﷻ to love Him the way He deserves to attain the love He has for His obeying servants.
Mindful Living; A Free Will
Understanding the true nature of control helps us navigate through life's challenges. It teaches us that surrendering to Allahﷻ is where true control resides. By acknowledging the power and influence of our breath, we can find peace and gratitude in surrendering to Allah’sﷻ guidance, mercy, and plan.
Let’s not let the temporary take away the permanent away from us. Let’s not let the world take over the best of you - because this too shall pass. Let's connect to Allahﷻ in those fleeting moments.
We deserve better, not because we are better - we deserve better because we are the creation and servants of Allahﷻ.
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