In the depths of despair, where wounds run deep,
There lies a power that can mend and keep,
A tapestry of healing, for those who believe,
A healing bond that time cannot erase.
Patience, gratitude, repentance, and reliance
Sadness, pain, and healing!
We often find ourselves entangled in the threads of wounds and pain. The weight we carry, like a heavy burden, can become a ceaseless yearning for healing, and a glimpse of ease.
My journey started with gratitude, which led me to patience, but it took me a long time to realize that only patience, and gratitude alone are not enough.
While carrying the weight of wounds, pain, and misery for far too long, my heart became a prisoner to the sorrow; sadness, and pain. The longer I stayed, the deeper it went, to the point where I literally wasn’t ready to let go of the sadness.
I remember myself saying, “What else will I do if I am not living in my sadness? I don’t know what else to do with my time and day.” Trust me, and now I wish there were more than 12 hours in a day, for I have many things to do. SubhanAllah.
It's about having to bring your focus, and action to things that are beneficial to us as a believer, rather than just sulking into the pits of idleness.
As much as it is about holding onto things in our hearts, it clearly is about unwillingness to submit to Allah, and walking on the road to our desires, in weakness, and vulnerability - only causing us pain and stopping our hearts from healing.
Pain and healing are sisters, they are born, and live together, not knowing anyone or anything, confiding in each other. They sleep together, and embrace the darkness as tightly as the light, for they know that within each other lies the balance of existence.
My balance was totally out of control, I was trying(in my fantasy world lol) to live with the loss happily. If Allah has taken something out of our lives, and if Allah has allowed us to move past something bad, then why do we cling to it?
Staying with a loss, or living it every moment clearly was my unwillingness to accept the divine decree of Allah - and it served its purpose very well. My want became my wish, my wish became my desire, and my desires became my pain, which I turned into my suffering, willingly holding onto something that was dead, non-existent.
Ya Allah, free me of the pain. I am tired, and I cannot do this, yet I don’t know the way, Ya Allah, free me of the pain.
At the other end of the day, my heart yearned for liberation from the burden that weighed me to the point I used to feel suffocated by my own breath. I was tired, and I was done. When did my tongue start asking for “healing of the heart”, I do not remember.
The Prophetﷺ said about the heart: Truly in the body, there is a morsel of flesh which, if it be sound, all the body is sound and which, if it be diseased, all of it is diseased. Truly it is the heart. [al-Bukhaaree, Muslim]
My heart was clean, it never had any malice or grudges, no hate for anyone or anything, but a few desires. There always is a fine line. It is not necessary for us to have something evil in our hearts to catch the disease of the heart.
Anything that is not aligned with the purpose of our life - anything that does not please Allahﷻ, and is for the sake of Allahﷻ eventually makes our hearts sick.
Sadness is a disease of the heart, sadness opens the way for shaitan(iblis).
The way of the shaitan is not just to sin - it’s also not being productive, having no desire to learn about your religion, not making an effort to be better, not taking care of your body, and your mind, and drowning in despair when Allahﷻ has said; Do not lose hope in Allah’s mercy.
And the answer to all my sadness, my sorrow, my unwillingness to let go of the pain, was actually a question, “Do I really have faith in Allahﷻ?” - and for a Muslim, for a believer, this is a question that cuts deep.
If you have encountered yourself with this question, or it lies somewhere deep down in your heart, continuously making you question your every emotion, and action, you have to be grateful to Allahﷻ - you are in the right place.
My heart wasn’t in alignment with what my tongue used to say; I put my faith in you, Ya Allahﷻ.
Something was missing! Or were there too many things in my heart that were stopping me from submitting completely to Allahﷻ; healing?
Why do we fail to heal?
Why does healing feel hard, inconsistent, unachievable, or tiring?
Do you know why?
True healing can only be achieved when all aspects of our lives are addressed.
When our physical, mental, and emotional well-being aligns with our intentions. It is through this alignment that we can find true balance and experience the transformative power of healing through submission to Allahﷻ.
While gratitude was making me feel content, and repentance was giving me hope on another level, there still was something that kept pulling me back from breathing in the open air.
And that was "to let go".
The Power of Letting Go & Healing
The wounds I was carrying with me long after the events had passed were like holding onto dead bodies.
Dead bodies don’t come back to life, nor do they go - they just rot.
It only used to hurt, and the grievances perpetuated my pain, keeping me trapped in a cycle of suffering.
When your mind tells you to be better and come out of suffering, and your heart isn’t strong enough to let go - it’s like a war - but I had to start somewhere, you have to start somewhere, we all have to start somewhere.
Letting go is a powerful tool - and it is more than forgiving and forgetting - it is submitting to Allahﷻ in all aspects of our lives; mind, body, heart, and soul.
Letting go is easier said than done!
Surrendering to the Higher Power, Allahﷻ
Just accepting that we cannot control everything isn't letting go - what comes after acceptance of the concept of DIVINE DECREE is what letting go is.
Making peace with it in a way that corrects and aligns our actions. Letting go requires us to face our nafs(notion of soul/self), and put trust in Allahﷻ that what we have been given is the best for us, even if we don't know how things are going to turn out.
It could be that you dislike something when it is good for you, and it could be that you like something when it is bad for you. Allahﷻ knows, and you do not know.
[Al-Baqarah:216]
Power and Mercy Of Allahﷻ
Your heart heals when it’s given the right love, and there is no perfect love than the Love Of Allahﷻ.
Isn’t it all the solace that we need?
Allahﷻ is Ar-Rehman(The Most or Entirely Merciful), and Ar-Raheem(The Bestower of Mercy). Along with Al-Ghafur, Ar-Raheem is the most used name of Allahﷻ in the Quran.
The first instance of letting for me was internalizing that Ar-Raheem, the bestower of mercy is my Lord, and He will neither leave me nor let me down or make me go through something that I am not capable of handling.
Isn’t it all the security that we need?
All that I ran behind like crazy, did reach me after all. All that I have today is more than I deserve.
When we understand the magnificence, power, and authority of Allahﷻ, then everything starts to seem so trivial and small to worry about.
My Lord is Al-Qadir(The Capable, The Powerful), and nothing is impossible for Him. My Lord is AL-HAKEEM(The All-Wise), He knows what I exactly need in the exact moment, and at an exact time - then what is it that I am worried about?
Letting Go is Embracing Forgiveness
SubhanAllah. Forgiving someone for the sake of Allahﷻ does not mean that the matter has ended, or gone - forgiving for the sake of Allahﷻ means that you have submitted your matter to Allah, and He will take care of it; either here, or on the day of judgment.
I know it’s hard for many to forgive, but we often forget that Allahﷻ is all-hearing, and all-seeing. He is AL-‘ADL(The Utterly Just), AL-HAKAM(The Judge, The Giver of Justice).
No matter how wronged you have been, no matter how cruel someone has been to you, no matter how unjust someone has been to you, no matter if someone has taken your rights, forgive for the sake of Allahﷻ.
Our beloved Prophetﷺ said: “Whoever suffers an injury and forgives (the person responsible), Allahﷻ will raise his status to a higher degree and remove one of his sins.”
Just take such people as a form of test from Allahﷻ, and Allahﷻ surely has rewards for the test.
And We have made some of you as trial for others – will you have patience? And ever is your Lord, Seeing.” [Qur’an – 25:20]
Letting Go is Embracing the Present Moment
The minute passed is dead, every minute that yet has to come is unknown - the rest we have is the present moment.Here I am, and here you are - we all know there is nothing in the world that can bring what’s gone. We all know there is nothing in this world that can help us know what lies ahead.
And we all know that this is the only moment - and I surely do not want to waste it. It’s a mercy of Allahﷻ that He has given me this moment, He gave me another day to live; to call upon Him, to praise Him, and repent to Him - then why should I waste it on anything - for I don’t know if I’d get another minute.
Eventually, I had to let go, when I realized that this moment is the only moment we have got. Like literally! I cannot deny it, you cannot deny it. When you cannot control the past, and the future is unseen, then what do you have?
Wasting the time Allahﷻ has given us is the biggest injustice we can do to ourselves. It's not just wasting time, it's wasting a golden opportunity, a blessed chance to call upon your Merciful Lord.
The Art of Letting Go is to Find a Connection with Allahﷻ
When our connection with Allahﷻ is not stronger, we look for connections, solace, and comfort in worldly things - and that is because we never experience the sweetness of the love of Allahﷻ. The comfort that lies only with Allah. The sense of security and peace that cannot be found anywhere other than Allahﷻ.
Salah is true healing
The only moments I vividly remember are the ones I was dying. Dying for love and comfort. Dying, for once, someone just holds me and tells me that I am here for you. Those are moments when I truly really found the essence of prayer. SubhanAllah.
Trust me or not, all the big things happened to me on the prayer mat. SubhanAllah.
You know, when you intentionally go to prayer, it saves you from evil, and it does. When you are praying, in your subconscious you have this sense of being mindful, and when you are praying five times a day, you condition your mind to stay away from everything that can cause your prayer not to be accepted.
Our small sins, intentions, and thoughts during and in between five prayers decide if our prayer or duas going to be accepted or not. That is what we need to bring our consciousness to.
We do not want anything in this world to mess with our prayer!
I got attached to prayer, in the times, when this huge big world, got so tighter on me that I couldn’t find a single place to put my foot, other than a prayer mat.
“The servant is closest to his Lord during prostration, so increase your supplications therein.” [Sahih Muslim 482]
If you want to be heard, pray.
If you want to be seen, pray.
If you want to be taken care of, pray.
If you want to be comforted, pray.
If you want to be loved, pray.
Pray, for you are closest to your Lord, your creator, your master.
Never forget who was there to hold you when you needed it the most, it was Allahﷻ.
Remember who helped you through the hard times, it was only Allah. Then who else is there for you to please and obey, it's only Allahﷻ.
When your worry is not missing any of your prayers, the things or the world and people become none existent. When your motive is to go out of your way to complete all five prayers at the right time, for the sake of Allahﷻ only, your worries diminish by themselves - and one day you just sit there and wonder, even if you had any problem.
Learn about your religion
Indulge yourself in doing anything, and everything that can bring you closer to Allahﷻ - and we get close to Allahﷻ, only when we know about Him in a way we are supposed to know Allahﷻ - and knowing Allahﷻ the way He deserves is through the Quran, and our Prophet Muhammadﷺ.
Learn about the life of our beloved Prophet Muhammadﷺ. Know about the women and men of Islam. Read Quran!
You know Quran is not like other books, that people write for the sake of writing a book - the Quran is the direct speech of Allahﷻ, it’s the actual word of Allahﷻ. That is why, it is revealed, not written. SubhanAllah. It's Allah's conversation with the Prophet Muhammadﷺ for the whole of mankind.
The Quran is the true healing, when we put our effort, and heart into understanding it the way it is supposed to be, and not just completing one or two pages a day.
You know to put it into simpler words, summarizing the art of letting go, it was the love of Allahﷻ, embracing the unseen. All my fears were arising from the uncertainty of the unseen. How, when, what will happen?
I mean, what will happen? When Allahﷻ is the one giving us life, planning everything for us from His divine wisdom, then what will happen? Obviously, and surely the best.
In this very moment, as you read this, just pause for a second and look around you. Have you not been saved before, from the things you thought you’d never be able to? Haven’t you overcome hurdles you could never imagine overcoming? Aren’t you alive in this moment? Haven’t you gone through this whole piece of writing, reading about Allahﷻ, and placing your trust in Him?
You know, if Allahﷻ did not will, my hands would not have been blessed with the strength of writing about Him, and your eyes would not have been blessed to read about the most merciful Allah. SubhanAllah.
When you realize, it's Allahﷻ choosing you to go through things because He wants you to come close to you - your heart gets tighter for any sorrow, any worry, things from the past, and especially people.
Everything vanishes into thin air like it never existed, and wasn't this the promise of Allahﷻ? Put your trust in Allahﷻ, and He will take care of everything.
Healing happens when we know that we will not be returned, we will be saved, and are worthy of it. You are worthy, only with Allahﷻ.
![Al-Qahhar [The All-Prevailing One]](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/ecfd96_0f4397d4ddff48a99db533343d9ecd9a~mv2.png/v1/fill/w_1080,h_1080,fp_0.50_0.50,q_95,enc_auto/ecfd96_0f4397d4ddff48a99db533343d9ecd9a~mv2.png)
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